Co-Parenting Red Flags: How Australian Family Courts Rate Your Behaviour

Using Your Children as Messengers

Court severity: low, but cumulative

Making your eight-year-old “ask Dad if he’s going to pay the school fees” might seem harmless, but the court sees it very differently.

Under section 60CC(2)(c) of the Family Law Act 1975, courts must consider the child’s developmental, psychological and emotional needs. Placing children in the middle of an adult conflict forces them to deal with emotions they are not equipped to handle.

Family Report Writers treat this behaviour as evidence of poor boundaries and an inability to separate parental relationships from co-parenting ones. A single instance of this behaviour is unlikely to affect a case, but a documented pattern is a signal to the court about a parent’s capacity to prioritise their child’s well-being over their own conflict.

The practical risk: using children as messengers appears in the family report and chips away at credibility on more serious issues.

Running Late for Changeovers

Court severity: moderate, and be escalated

Being late occasionally is unlikely to concern a judge too much, but a consistent pattern of deliberate or careless lateness is treated as a contravention of parenting orders under the Family Law Act 1975, which defines a contravention as an intentional failure to comply with a parenting order without a reasonable attempt to comply, and without reasonable excuse. 

A parent who is consistently late is showing that they do not respect the order, the time of their co-parent or their children’s well-being. In these instances, the court can order make-up time for the other parent, impose costs orders, require a bond, give the offending parent community service, impose fines and, in extreme cases, order imprisonment for up to 12 months.

"(《世界人权宣言》) Federal Circuit and Family Court established a dedicated National Contravention List in September 2021 to help deal with the volume of breach applications. This should be a clear signal of how seriously the system treats non-compliance.

"(《世界人权宣言》) AIFS found that more than 25% of contravention cases involved litigation extending over three to four years, while another 33% extended over five to nine years. Chronic lateness can quickly end up becoming years of costly legal conflict.

Coaching Your Children Before a Family Report

Court severity: high

Many parents make critical errors when it comes to this. Telling your child what to say to a Family Report Writer, or even rehearsing responses before their interview, can end up destroying your case.

Family Report Writers are trained to spot a child who has been coached. Children are interviewed separately from their parents, in age-appropriate settings, and techniques specifically designed to identify when a child’s expressed views are their own and when they are using a script are used.

If coaching is suspected or identified, it will be called out explicitly in the report, and is a clear sign to the judge that you are willing to manipulate your own child for an advantage.

Under the new section 60CC framework, courts take the child’s views into consideration, but if those views have been tainted by coaching, they will be dismissed entirely. In fact, the coaching itself becomes evidence that the child’s psychological well-being has been compromised.

The 2023 amendments also introduced a new accountability framework for Family Report Writers, which includes accreditation standards and processes for handling complaints. Report writers themselves now face increased scrutiny, so they’re more diligent about documenting parental interference than ever before.

Making False Allegations of Abuse

Court severity: very high

If it is determined that abuse allegations were invented for tactical reasons, it fundamentally undermines that parent’s credibility on every other issue in the case.

This does not mean legitimate safety concerns should go unreported, however. The new section 60CC(2)(a) always puts safety first, and section 60CC(2A) requires the court to strongly consider any history of family violence, abuse or neglect in every decision they make.

Fabricated allegations are treated very harshly. In one particularly shocking case, a mother made unsubstantiated sexual abuse allegations against the father. When medical examinations did not support these claims, the judge declared that the child needed to be “protected from the continued likely escalation of that emotional manipulation and harm” and gave custody to the father.

AIFS research on allegations in family law found it was “not possible to assess the extent to which allegations had been fully or partially fabricated.” There is a common perception of widespread false allegations. Indeed, a survey found that 46% of the public believed women often fabricate domestic violence claims in custody cases. Judicial professionals, who have the most direct insight, do not share that view.

The takeaway: genuine concerns should be voiced through proper legal channels at the earliest opportunity, but fabricating allegations will cost you your credibility and potentially your case.

Relocating Without Court Approval

Court severity: the most serious

Moving your children without the other parent’s consent or a court order will result in the severest legal consequences under Australian family law.

Section 67Q of the Family Law Act gives the court the power to issue recovery orders. These orders allow the use of force if necessary, as well as give the police the right to stop and search vehicles, and enter and search premises. They also allow warrantless arrest of anyone who violates restrictions on removing the child.

Taking a child out of Australia without consent or a court order when a parenting order exists is a criminal offence.

If you want to move and the other parent disagrees with the idea, the only safe path to a resolution is through the court. In Cunningham & Foster [2024], a mother was permitted to relocate from NSW to Queensland with her nine-year-old because the court determined it was in the child’s best interests. Following the proper legal process is what saw her succeed.

What You Can Do to Protect Your Position

The 2024 amendments simplified the court’s approach while raising the bar for parental behaviour. The six-factor framework under section 60CC puts safety first and gives judges broad discretion to consider anything and everything relevant to the child’s circumstances when making a decision.

Here is what that means in practice.

Communication

• Use a co-parenting app (OurFamilyWizard, 2Houses, or similar) for all communication with the other parent. These apps create a timestamped, admissible record.
• Keep children out of adult conversations altogether. If your child asks about money, school decisions or “why Mum said that,” redirect them gently and deal with it through proper channels.
• Save every text message, email and written exchange. If a dispute ends up in court, the parent with better records will be in a stronger position.

另请阅读 我的前夫能阻止我更改孩子的姓氏吗？

Changeovers and Compliance

• Follow parenting orders exactly as written. If the order says 4pm Saturday, be there at 4pm Saturday.
• Document every changeover. A brief note of the time, location and any issues which arise should be enough.
• If your circumstances change and the order no longer fits into your life, you can apply to adjust it through the court. Never take matters into your own hands.

Family Reports

• Be completely honest with the Family Report Writer. They are well-trained to identify rehearsed or coached responses.
• Never coach your children before their interview. It will likely be identified and used against you.
• Focus on demonstrating your capacity as a parent, not criticising your ex-partner.

Safety Concerns

• If you have genuine concerns about your child’s safety, raise them through proper legal channels as soon as possible.
• Do not conceal safety concerns as a tactical tool for later use. Courts view this as evidence that the concern may not be genuine.
• If a situation is urgent, contact the police first.

Before Making Big Decisions

• Before making any significant change involving your children (moving house, changing schools, introducing a new partner, altering living arrangements, etc.), seek proper legal advice first.
• A free chat with a family lawyer can clarify your legal position and prevent a common mistake from becoming a protracted legal problem.

Questions to Ask Yourself

If you are currently in a co-parenting arrangement, consider whether any of these apply to you:

• Have you made negative comments about the other parent within earshot of your children?
• Have you been consistently late or inflexible with changeovers?
• Have you posted anything about your custody situation on social media?
• Have you told your children what they should say to a counsellor, report writer or the other parent?
• Have you withheld contact or changed arrangements without agreement or a court order?

If any of these apply to you, it does not mean your case is lost; it means that getting advice now is better than waiting until the other parent raises it in court.

The Bigger Picture

The Family Court’s purpose is not to punish parents; it’s designed to determine what arrangement best serves the child. Keep in mind that the court pays very close attention to how parents behave during the process, because parenting behaviour during separation is one of the strongest indicators of parenting capacity going forward.

Not every mistake will cost you your case, but the parents who lose ground are almost always the ones who underestimate how seriously the court takes what they do.

Going Through a Co-Parenting Dispute?

Whether you are working through a co-parenting arrangement, dealing with a contravention application or concerned about your child’s well-being during separation, getting family law advice at the earliest opportunity can make a significant difference.

Kingsford Lawyers’ family law team on the Gold Coast works with clients across Australia on custody disputes, co-parenting arrangements and parenting orders. Contact us online or call 1300 244 342 进行保密、免责交谈.